Letting them grow up

It is so hard to let them go! I guess I never really thought much about how it would be with both of the kids out of the house and not knowing what they are doing every minute. I never thought that they would both be out on their own in the same year. Having 3 1/2 years between them you just figure it will come someday but don't think it will be at the same time. Yes I know the plan is that Sommer will be back after she is finished with AIM.

One thing I have learned is that Arnold and I have done our best. That they are a gift. Now it is time for them to figure out their place in the world. We still continue to pray for our children everyday and the most important thing to us both is their souls. That is why I am having a very difficult time. I said when Sommer decided to go to AIM that if that is what God was calling her to do then I could not stand in her way. As a lot of you know Satan tried his hardest to keep her from going but failed. Now it is close to the time for her to choose her mission field. We know that she has a heart for inner city mission work and have known those fields would be on the top of her list. She shared that Utah, Miami, Grass Valley, Mexico were all up there on top of her list. Then yesterday she informed us that she wants to go to South Africa, No absolutely not! was my first reaction. Then this young woman says "just pray about it Mom, I believe this is where my heart is." Wow did I forget that I said I would not stand in the way? I have really been praying about this. Today was the presentation and she is even more excited about it than before. Do I have enough faith to let her go where ever God leads her? I pray that I do. As a mom I don't want her to go. But as a child of God, I know I have to. I trust him and I know that this will change her adult life. I will allow my children to figure it out for themselves with guidance of course but it is not always easy. I don't always have the best attitude about it. I am thanking God for her heart, that she wants to go into all the world. God protect them where ever they are and whatever they are doing.

I think this was the best Race for the Cure yet!

I had such an awesome weekend. It started when I went to the doctor on Friday and together we decided that I was finished with the injections and was ready to move forward with the surgery for the implants. When we walked out that door Arnold and I just looked at each other and smiled because we both knew, it was answered prayer. We were both dreading Friday because we thought that I would have the injection and then not be feeling well for the Race on Saturday. I really felt like I could run the race right then, but Arnold was not too excited about me doing that. Then on Friday night we finally had the chance to go out and see the movie "Fireproof" which is an excellent movie.

On Saturday, I was so excited to be able to be going out to the Race. Not just because I was feeling well and was able. I was excited that my sister, Sheilia would be out there for the first time and my niece, Heather and my sister's two step-daughter's, Melissa and Jessica who lost their mother to breast cancer when they were only three and four. I was excited that I had the largest team I have ever had and a lot of them had not participated in an event like this before. It was impossible for us to get everyone together for a team photo and I was a little bit disappointed about that but I think I still got photos of most everyone (see the slide show). My sister-in-law, Anna did a great job capturing it all! I so appreciated everyone that came out even if I didn't get to spend a lot of time with you just the fact that you were there meant a lot to me.

Then yesterday was Lord's day and I was blessed to hear a great sermon on marriage. Jim gave us homework (which Arnold and I completed). I was able to stay for class for the first time since the surgery. Then we were able to have lunch with two very special people who have been struggling in their marriage for a while. I was able to share what Arnold and I have gone through recently with them as well as some women on Saturday. In March Arnold and I will celebrate our twenty-third wedding anniversary. One thing we have learned is leave whatever has happened in the past and move on. We are so thankful for the time we get to spend together and if you were in our shoes would you treat each other any different?

Then as we were driving home Sommer called. That is the only thing that was missing Saturday. I was so blessed when two of her old high school buddies came up to me and said that they wanted to be part of the race and could they join our team and walk with us. Sommer is right where she needs to be. I must admit I would love to have done what she is doing. She has been in nine states in the last ten days learning more about the bible, fellowship with other Christians and reaching out to the communities they visit. She was excited to see Andrew Gearhart in Alabama and Chris Perry in Dallas. She was not too excited that the bus broke down and they were stranded in Dallas. Looks like classes were cancelled today, so she will be able to get some sleep before the new semester starts tomorrow. I was exhausted when I got home yesterday and feel pretty tired still but am thankful for such a great weekend.

One woman is diagnosed with breast cancer every three minutes, and one woman will die of breast cancer every 13 minutes in the United States

One woman is diagnosed with breast cancer every three minutes, and one woman will die of breast cancer every 13 minutes in the United States..it could be you..your wife, your daughter, your mother. One more woman is too many!

This is going to be my 8th time participating in the Race for the Cure. I first got involved back in 2001 when we ran at Woodward Park. I was so thrilled to be able to run a race when I had just finished chemotherapy the year before. Then the next year they moved the race to Fresno State, I think it was because it had grown so much. The year that I first got involved I thought it was nice that they called all of us survivors onto the stage and they had a song playing and we all held hands. There was such a bond, we had all experienced those ugly words "you have cancer" and lived to be here on stage as a survivor. I continued to run the race every year after that because it helped my healing to be involved in something with some sort of purpose. I am not sure when I started wanting to put together a team. The awareness has grown thanks to events like Komen. If you go out on Saturday and see the survivor ceremony you will see we don't all fit on the stage at the same time, there is a long line of us. I believe it is because we are finding the cancer earlier and we are surviving! We have so much more research that needs to be done. I believe that prevention is going to be the cure. We are going to discover where it comes from and be able to prevent it rather than having to treat with poisons.

This year when I found out that I was having surgery about a month before the race I thought I would just skip it this year. Then people were asking if I was forming a team this year and not wanting to let anyone down I said yes. Honestly, I still was thinking that I was not going to participate. Then I was looking at pictures one day of my daughter, Sommer and my nieces Heather, Sierra, Hanna and it hit me I have to do something! I don't want them to have to suffer like I have or like my mother, Joan has. I must step up and take responsibility and do my part in helping find the cure. You see I discovered that I have the breast cancer gene. Why was it me? why was I the one that they discovered it in? It has probably been passed on for generations. There has to be some responsibility for me in that. Statistics say that only 5-10% of cancers are inherited. So because they say it is such a small amount it seems the focus of breast cancer awareness is on the ones that are not inherited. I believe that we are going to discover it is much higher than 5-10%. The reason why I believe this is because most of us don't know our family histories and when we are diagnosed one of the first questions that they ask is if you have a family history. I was asked that and I said no. Because I did not know that I did until I had to look back to find out if there was a strong family history. I was so surprised that we had cancer on both sides of the family. How come I never knew this? How come no one ever talked about cancer? I don't want my life to be about cancer but I want to leave those family members that come after me my story that is why I am participating in events like the Komen Race for the Cure that is why I am sharing my very personal experiences with the world. I knew in being open about my experiences there would be emotional pain. I can tell you one thing that I have a very hard time with is the people that want to cry and tell me how unfair things are the ones that I am sure they don't do it on purpose (at least I hope not) bring you down. I absolutely love those of you that encourage me every time I see you. Those of you that are showing your support by helping raise breast cancer awareness. Please don't pity me. I am no different than I was before you knew that I survived cancer, before you knew that cancer has taken parts of my body that important to a woman. I am looking forward to when my daughter and my nieces can say "remember when there was cancer it was such a ugly disease . I am so glad it has been cured". Please join me in praying for the cure! You can still register for the Race on Saturday at Fresno State or you can just make a donation.

Read the Fresno Bee column promoting the Race for the Cure

Mary Lou Aguirre did a great job summarizing my sixteen year battle with cancer!

Interview promoting the Race for the Cure

Cancer is not who I am

I started thinking about what I want my life to be about. October is breast cancer awareness month. I have gotten into spreading the awareness this year more than any other year. I run the race for the cure to help spread the awareness to women about breast cancer, but I am running a much bigger race! I have had a lot of time lately to do some serious thinking. I do not want people to think of me now or after my life here on earth is over as a cancer survivor or as someone who had beat cancer. Yes, I am a cancer survivor and I have beat cancer and I firmly believe that when my life is over it is not going to be cancer that ends my life here on earth. You see cancer to me has been just one of the opportunities in life that some of us are presented with and we can use it to glorify God or we can let it define who we are. I choose to glorify God. I want people to remember me as someone who loved the Lord with all of her heart. Someone that had flaws but did not let that keep her from being about the Fathers business. I believe that God has given me a responsibility by having cancer and I need to remember that it is not about me. I am praying for his direction on how he wants me to use this in my life to bring glory to him.

Register for the Race for the Cure

The race is on Saturday October 25th you can still take part. I am imagining a life for my daughter, my nieces and future generations without cancer. There is still a lot of research that needs to be done to accomplish this. The best that we have until a cure is found is early detection. Will you join me in spreading the awareness. You can register or make a donation to the Komen foundation on their website. Thank you.

KOMEN RACE FOR THE CURE

What is important

I constantly hear people say and I am including myself

IF ONLY I HAD ENOUGH TIME FOR.....

As I am recovering from surgery there has been a lot of things I just can't do so those things that I was always saying that I don't have time to finish well somehow they just are not that important right now. I wonder how much time I waste on things that really don't matter? I talked to Sommer last night and she was so excited as she told me how her AIM class went onto the Tech campus to talk to college students and to plant the seed. She mentioned that she would be having a good conversation and then start talking about God and then most, not all were not interested. Do you think that people are not interested in hearing about God because they are too busy and they feel that is just one more thing they will have to fit into their schedule?

You know when you are faced with your mortality you start thinking about the things that really matter. When I became a Christian eight years ago, that is exactly what I was faced with. What is important? I didn't have extra time to go to Church on Sunday or to talk to people about Jesus my life was too busy. I had to understood that some things were more important than others. What I learned is that having a relationship with the Lord is the most important thing. You know the funny thing is once I put God first in my life things were not so out of control anymore. Yes, I still have a lot to do but those things that seem so important to get done really don't matter in the end. I need to spend more of my time reaching out to others because in the end that is what really matters.

Going Home

I have never been away from home for very long. I can only imagine what it must be like to be away from home and your loved ones. I believe, yesterday I got to experience a bit of what it feels like to go home. I had not been to worship services since the Sunday before my surgery guess that it had been about month. I was able to attend services yesterday. I knew that I missed my church family but did not realize how much until yesterday. This may sound a bit strange but I am thankful for Face book because I was able to stay in close contact with a lot of you. That helped me more than you will ever know. Just to hear your encouraging words and to know that you were all praying for me. I felt very emotional yesterday, not because of what I have gone through lately or what lies ahead. I was and have been so overwhelmed by all of the love and support. I have learned that living a God centered life is such a blessed life. I have appreciated the relationships that my family has developed in the last few years being at Woodward Park Church of Christ but one thing that I had not experienced first hand was how you were there when I needed you. From all of you that came to the hospital, your phone calls, cards, face book messages, all of the yummy food and most important all of your prayers. I honestly don't know how we made it through the difficult times without a loving church family but I do know that having gone through difficult times with a loving church family makes it so much easier to endure. I know that it's not over yet and I will have good days and bad days. I get so much comfort in knowing that I have all of you willing to help me along the way. I have learned so much in the last few months, mainly that I have so much more to learn. I have learned from you how to be a Christian friend to someone who thinks all she needed was God and her family. I think the most important thing that I have learned is how to accept help. I don't always have to be the one giving the help. Thank you for being part of my journey. I love you all!